The New Graduate

Sorry folks but I spent the last few weeks concentrating on project due and finals in school. But now I'm free as a bird...as promised the first of 10 samples of book, "The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35."

Life in the Real World
Here's what it's like for the New Graduate: One moment she is sleeping soundly, dreaming of the exciting days ahead as a twenty-something with a paycheck. Then someone comes into her room, whips open the curtains, and wakes her up. She sees her surroundings for the first time under the bright lights of the real world and feels bewildered, exposed, and unpolished. She wonders, "Where the heck am I and how can I be so excited about the furniture one minute and so freaked out the next?" She feels like she went to sleep a college kid but woke up in an unfamiliar land.

Like all New Graduates, she feels enthusiastic but overwhelmed, excited but terrified, grown up yet more naive than she was in grade school. This exciting but challenging time is typical of life as a new member of the adult world. When you're in it, you can expect to feel a number of conflicting feelings that make you a little nutty sometimes.



College to Real-World Lingo Translator
You hardly recognize your best friend when she dons a power suit and struts into the office. The "We Miss You!" cards from mom and dad have been pushed aside by a lengthy new employee information packet. Now, to make matters worse, the adults around you are using the words you took for granted in new ways. The most familiar part of your life, your own language is in disarray.

Have you noticed that people speak differently in the real world than they do in college? About a month after you have your diploma in hand you start to realize that the lingo just isn't the same. If you're having problems making the transition because you can't figure out what the heck those real-world people are talking about, use this translator to learn the new meaning of your favorite terms.


KEG STAND
College Definition: The act of holding a frat boy upside down so he can drink nasty beer straight out the barrel.
Real-World Definition: A beautiful varnished wooden beer holder the rich yuppie forty-something has in his basement.

LIKE
College Definition: A word used frequently in college conversation that adds no meaning to a sentence but somehow enhances communication. Example: He is like so hot and like not gay either.
Real-World Definition: A word that pops out of the New Graduate's mouth in meetings, making her feel like a total idiot. Example: This report is like so wrong. A word she learns to use in the proper way in the real world. Example: I don't like getting up every day at 7 a.m. I don't like my boss's breath, which makes the ends of my hair fry when he leans over my shoulder and asks me what I'm working on.

REAL LIFE ROCKS BECAUSE
*You finally have a steady income and can stop collecting soda cans to make an extra buck.
*You can take classes for fun w/o stressing about that grade or whether or not "The History of Fashion" will look weird on your transcript.
*You can tell your mother to stop freaking out about everything you do, even though she probably never will.
*The people you know do not all live in the same building, so you actually have some degree of anonymity.
*You met lots of new and interesting people.
*You get to drink beer that doesn't taste like it was brewed in a toilet.
*When your workday is done, it's done, and there are no papers or schoolwork dangling over your head.
*Guys finally have to shave their nasty goatees for work.
*You can read trashy literature that is not part of a recommended reading list.
*When you go out at night your feet no longer stick to the floor like they did in college frat houses.

**Tomorrow: The Dollarless Diva**