8 Toxic Personalities to Avoid
Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?
Baller of the Week
Miles Auston of the Dallas Cowboys
Fall Fashion Fix
Akris Punto Hooded Wool Car Coat
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The Worker Bee
The Worker Bee phase is that time in a woman's life when she learns to hold on to a level of responsibility critical for success while also saying, "to hell with everything" on occasion. But she doesn't learn this lesson of balance overnight. It only comes after many days of drudgery, weekends starting at a computer screen, and several missed vacations. Only after she pushes herself to the limit repeatedly does she realize she can't live like a workaholic maniac forever. Then she takes steps to improve her quality of life. But until she comes to this realization, she works hard, plays rarely and carries the weight of responsibility on her shoulders.
If you've been a Worker Bee in your past or you are now, you know that being one is no field day. The urge to do everything well can drive a girl to stay awake around the clock for weeks on end even if she's battling pneumonia. When you're in Worker Bee mode, you'll do whatever you can to check off the duties on your enormous task list, even if getting things done comes at the expense of your health and sanity.
While being diligent and responsible are respectable attributes, a Worker Bee takes her need to achieve one step too far, pushing herself to the limit every day. Review the following characteristics of the Worker Bee to determine if you share any of her habits and needs.
*The Worker Bee Is Just a Tad Bit Too Diligent
*The Worker Bee Is Afraid to Take Time Off
*The Worker Bee Helps Anyone Who Asks
*The Worker Bee Wants to Do Everything Perfectly
*The Worker Bee Looks Worn Out
*The Worker Bee Likes Structure & Control
*The Worker Bee Spreads Herself Too Thin
*The Worker Bee Knows She Needs a Change
Taking a Time-Out
Commit to memory these 10 workplace tips, which you can apply on the job every day. they will help you ditch the madness of the Worker Bee phase for good and have a more relaxed state of mind all the time, even when life gets hectic.
TEN TIPS FOR WORKPLACE SANITY
1. Find the Easy Way Every Day: find out exactly what you need to do and determine the easiest way to do it so you never overwork and overstress about a task.
2. Give "No" a Go: the Worker Bee thinks if she says "no" to a project, people will think she's lazy and the world will crumble. Sometimes this inability to say "no" carries over into other parts of her life too. You'll find that the more often you say "no," the easier it gets, and people do listen. You'll find that the world won't fall apart, and soon you'll wish you'd been saying no all along. Not to mention, you'll have a lot more time and energy for the things you do take on and you'll perform better.
3. Mimic the One Who Works and Has Fun: the hardest thing for the Worker Bee to realize is that she will actually do better on the job if she learns to give herself a break once in awhile. To get over this "I'll end up a labeled a loser if I slack" mentality, find a role model who has achieved balance in her life.
4. Say "To Hell with the Cell": electronic devices have enabled the Worker Bee to take her projects everywhere. Though a cell phone is outstanding if you're using it to coordinate cocktail hour with friends, it should not be ringing with work-related tasks during your vacation or over the weekend.
5. Take a Day to Get Away: if you carry over vacation time every year, kick yourself and put an end to it. Always take a day you have coming to you, and call in sick once in a while too.
6. Toss a Crappy Boss: sometimes a boss is a Worker Bee, and there's absolutely nothing you can do to change that. If you have a workaholic boss, she will not understand your need to live a balanced life. Ditch her immediately, even if it means leaving your job for a better one or changing departments. Working for people who respect your personal life and have a life of their own is crucial to being happy on a daily basis.
7. Don't Feel Bad for Getting Mad: a Worker Bee sometimes feels guilty for asserting herself. Whether she's stating that a task is unnecessary, asking an underling to do something, or speaking up with her ideas in a meeting, she views herself as being bitchy or angry. NEVER feel bad for being assertive, speaking your mind and putting your foot down if someone is dumping work on you.
8. Know the Power of One Hour: you don't have to go across the globe to feel like you've taken a vacation. Leave it all behind on the weekend by driving just one hour from where you live. That's all it takes to gain perspective and feel relieved of the daily grind.
9. Be Bold and Ask for the Gold: a Worker Bee often spends endless hours toiling away but doesn't feel adequately compensated for her work. Remember that your job is a partnership with you employer - you work for the company and it owes you compensation for what you do. Don't wait for someone to notice that you are worthy; speak up and ask for a raise or promotion.
10. Put "You" Before What You Do: the word "selfish" has a bad rap, but being selfish can be a really good thing for a Worker Bee. She, more than anyone, needs to put her own needs first.
When you make these 10 workplace tips a part of you daily life, they will help you put distance between yourself and your work even when you're sitting in the office w/a phone ringing in your ear. You'll be able to relax more often and you'll feel that you have the right to speak up, set priorities and leave at a decent hour. But you still might have to remind yourself regularly that you deserve a break. So keep these 10 tips pinned up nearby, and remember how important it is to find that middle ground between beach bum and bonkers: balance!
If you've been a Worker Bee in your past or you are now, you know that being one is no field day. The urge to do everything well can drive a girl to stay awake around the clock for weeks on end even if she's battling pneumonia. When you're in Worker Bee mode, you'll do whatever you can to check off the duties on your enormous task list, even if getting things done comes at the expense of your health and sanity.
While being diligent and responsible are respectable attributes, a Worker Bee takes her need to achieve one step too far, pushing herself to the limit every day. Review the following characteristics of the Worker Bee to determine if you share any of her habits and needs.
*The Worker Bee Is Just a Tad Bit Too Diligent
*The Worker Bee Is Afraid to Take Time Off
*The Worker Bee Helps Anyone Who Asks
*The Worker Bee Wants to Do Everything Perfectly
*The Worker Bee Looks Worn Out
*The Worker Bee Likes Structure & Control
*The Worker Bee Spreads Herself Too Thin
*The Worker Bee Knows She Needs a Change
Taking a Time-Out
Commit to memory these 10 workplace tips, which you can apply on the job every day. they will help you ditch the madness of the Worker Bee phase for good and have a more relaxed state of mind all the time, even when life gets hectic.
TEN TIPS FOR WORKPLACE SANITY
1. Find the Easy Way Every Day: find out exactly what you need to do and determine the easiest way to do it so you never overwork and overstress about a task.
2. Give "No" a Go: the Worker Bee thinks if she says "no" to a project, people will think she's lazy and the world will crumble. Sometimes this inability to say "no" carries over into other parts of her life too. You'll find that the more often you say "no," the easier it gets, and people do listen. You'll find that the world won't fall apart, and soon you'll wish you'd been saying no all along. Not to mention, you'll have a lot more time and energy for the things you do take on and you'll perform better.
3. Mimic the One Who Works and Has Fun: the hardest thing for the Worker Bee to realize is that she will actually do better on the job if she learns to give herself a break once in awhile. To get over this "I'll end up a labeled a loser if I slack" mentality, find a role model who has achieved balance in her life.
4. Say "To Hell with the Cell": electronic devices have enabled the Worker Bee to take her projects everywhere. Though a cell phone is outstanding if you're using it to coordinate cocktail hour with friends, it should not be ringing with work-related tasks during your vacation or over the weekend.
5. Take a Day to Get Away: if you carry over vacation time every year, kick yourself and put an end to it. Always take a day you have coming to you, and call in sick once in a while too.
6. Toss a Crappy Boss: sometimes a boss is a Worker Bee, and there's absolutely nothing you can do to change that. If you have a workaholic boss, she will not understand your need to live a balanced life. Ditch her immediately, even if it means leaving your job for a better one or changing departments. Working for people who respect your personal life and have a life of their own is crucial to being happy on a daily basis.
7. Don't Feel Bad for Getting Mad: a Worker Bee sometimes feels guilty for asserting herself. Whether she's stating that a task is unnecessary, asking an underling to do something, or speaking up with her ideas in a meeting, she views herself as being bitchy or angry. NEVER feel bad for being assertive, speaking your mind and putting your foot down if someone is dumping work on you.
8. Know the Power of One Hour: you don't have to go across the globe to feel like you've taken a vacation. Leave it all behind on the weekend by driving just one hour from where you live. That's all it takes to gain perspective and feel relieved of the daily grind.
9. Be Bold and Ask for the Gold: a Worker Bee often spends endless hours toiling away but doesn't feel adequately compensated for her work. Remember that your job is a partnership with you employer - you work for the company and it owes you compensation for what you do. Don't wait for someone to notice that you are worthy; speak up and ask for a raise or promotion.
10. Put "You" Before What You Do: the word "selfish" has a bad rap, but being selfish can be a really good thing for a Worker Bee. She, more than anyone, needs to put her own needs first.
When you make these 10 workplace tips a part of you daily life, they will help you put distance between yourself and your work even when you're sitting in the office w/a phone ringing in your ear. You'll be able to relax more often and you'll feel that you have the right to speak up, set priorities and leave at a decent hour. But you still might have to remind yourself regularly that you deserve a break. So keep these 10 tips pinned up nearby, and remember how important it is to find that middle ground between beach bum and bonkers: balance!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Dollarless Diva
A Dollarless Diva can afford to review a few simple lessons in cash management so she feels reassured that she will always know the right way to handle the green stuff. As confusing as stock symbols and nightmarish investment lingo can be, the way to keep your wealth at its peak position is to follow the very basic "RICH" chick principles:
*Rake in the dough
*Invest like the best
*Cover all debt that has an interest rate attached to it
*Have a whole lotta fun too
Any chick to commits these principles to memory will be on the road to riches in no time.
RAKE IN THE DOUGH
Unfortunately money doesn't fall out of the sky - unless, of course, some girl annoyed w/her rich banker boyfriend decides to dump his life savings off a ten-story building. So we have to work for it. To be happy, you don't have to rake in as much as Donald Trump but you do need to determine what your own personal goals are and how you're going to achieve them. Whatever you choose, recognize the trade offs and make sure you're happy with the work/life mix you pick. Keep a few things in mind, whether you're about to interview for your first job or making a career switch.
Know what to expect.
Understand demand.
Avoid a stifling workplace.
Do what you like.
INVEST LIKE THE BEST
The word "invest" can be scary because it conjures images of lots of numbers, strange tickler symbols, and men and women wearing suits and glasses seated around a conference table. But regardless of how much money you make, it is important to get comfortable w/investing. You might think, "I'm still collecting the deposits on bottles to make ends meet. I have nothing extra to invest," but you do. Even if it's a dollar a day, investing is crucial for any girl who wants to get out of the Dollarless Diva phase for good.
"It take money to make money may be a cliche," but it's also the truth. If you have money and invest it wisely, it will grow exponentially over the years. Let's assume you do want to invest your money. The key is to find a place to put it where it will earn the most interest at a level of risk that you can tolerate.
Companies and organizations of all types need cash to operate, so they "borrow" yours and promise to give you interest (i.e. a little extra) in return for the "loan." These are a few common investments that will earn interest for you:
Stocks
Bonds
Mutual Fund
Checking or Savings Account
Money Market Fund
CD
401(k)
COVER ALL DEBT THAT HAS AN INTEREST RATE ATTACHED TO IT
Just as you earn interest when you loan out ur cash, other people charge interest when they loan you money. The biggest culprits are credit card companies and student loan officers. You'll grasp this concept quickly if you're stalked by Master Card, Visa or Sallie Mae. To get yourself out of this nightmare cycle of credit card debt, you have to work hard to pay back more each month on your debt than the interest they charge you. Every moment you have outstanding debt w/an interest rate attached to it, you are losing cash. When you pay back more than the interest and cut into the principal amount you owe, you slowly chisel down the debt. The annoying little sucker will eventually be gone.
HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF FUN TOO
Pay your bills on time, invest a little bit each month and generally be responsible about money, but don't scrape by day-to-day while a big fat wad of cash sits in your bank account. No way! Head for the Bahamas, Diva!
As a general rule, no girl should deprive herself of happiness in order to save money. If you make an effort to put something away out of each paycheck, you can then allow yourself to enjoy the rest of your cash now. Sometimes sacrificing a pleasure today is just not worth the dollar or two it saves in the long run.
Real-Life Tales from Dollarless Divas
"I used my parents' calling card to call a friend from a pay phone because I didn't want to use up my cell phone minutes."
"I bought a slightly imperfect dress for $10 and tried to fix it. It ended up being a slightly imperfect $10 cleaning rag."
"I filled my purse w/sugar packets from work and brought them home to use in my own kitchen."
"I took all my cash out for the week on Sunday night and separated it into seven amounts so I would know exactly how much I could afford to spend each day."
"I lied about my Payless shoes and said they were Prada. My friends went looking for them and I lied again, insisting they were probably sold out."
"I wanted to win a drawing for a new DVD player so badly that I snuck the entire stack of blank tickets into my bag, filled them all out at home, and went back and put them in. And I won!"
"I was afraid to answer the door at night because my neighborhood was so sketchy! Turned out, it was two firemen banging on the door because the basement broiler exploded!"
"I refused to take a cab at three in the morning and my friend and I ended up in a dingy neighborhood, all because I was cheap and made us take a the train we never took before."
*Rake in the dough
*Invest like the best
*Cover all debt that has an interest rate attached to it
*Have a whole lotta fun too
Any chick to commits these principles to memory will be on the road to riches in no time.
RAKE IN THE DOUGH
Unfortunately money doesn't fall out of the sky - unless, of course, some girl annoyed w/her rich banker boyfriend decides to dump his life savings off a ten-story building. So we have to work for it. To be happy, you don't have to rake in as much as Donald Trump but you do need to determine what your own personal goals are and how you're going to achieve them. Whatever you choose, recognize the trade offs and make sure you're happy with the work/life mix you pick. Keep a few things in mind, whether you're about to interview for your first job or making a career switch.
Know what to expect.
Understand demand.
Avoid a stifling workplace.
Do what you like.
INVEST LIKE THE BEST
The word "invest" can be scary because it conjures images of lots of numbers, strange tickler symbols, and men and women wearing suits and glasses seated around a conference table. But regardless of how much money you make, it is important to get comfortable w/investing. You might think, "I'm still collecting the deposits on bottles to make ends meet. I have nothing extra to invest," but you do. Even if it's a dollar a day, investing is crucial for any girl who wants to get out of the Dollarless Diva phase for good.
"It take money to make money may be a cliche," but it's also the truth. If you have money and invest it wisely, it will grow exponentially over the years. Let's assume you do want to invest your money. The key is to find a place to put it where it will earn the most interest at a level of risk that you can tolerate.
Companies and organizations of all types need cash to operate, so they "borrow" yours and promise to give you interest (i.e. a little extra) in return for the "loan." These are a few common investments that will earn interest for you:
Stocks
Bonds
Mutual Fund
Checking or Savings Account
Money Market Fund
CD
401(k)
COVER ALL DEBT THAT HAS AN INTEREST RATE ATTACHED TO IT
Just as you earn interest when you loan out ur cash, other people charge interest when they loan you money. The biggest culprits are credit card companies and student loan officers. You'll grasp this concept quickly if you're stalked by Master Card, Visa or Sallie Mae. To get yourself out of this nightmare cycle of credit card debt, you have to work hard to pay back more each month on your debt than the interest they charge you. Every moment you have outstanding debt w/an interest rate attached to it, you are losing cash. When you pay back more than the interest and cut into the principal amount you owe, you slowly chisel down the debt. The annoying little sucker will eventually be gone.
HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF FUN TOO
Pay your bills on time, invest a little bit each month and generally be responsible about money, but don't scrape by day-to-day while a big fat wad of cash sits in your bank account. No way! Head for the Bahamas, Diva!
As a general rule, no girl should deprive herself of happiness in order to save money. If you make an effort to put something away out of each paycheck, you can then allow yourself to enjoy the rest of your cash now. Sometimes sacrificing a pleasure today is just not worth the dollar or two it saves in the long run.
Real-Life Tales from Dollarless Divas
"I used my parents' calling card to call a friend from a pay phone because I didn't want to use up my cell phone minutes."
"I bought a slightly imperfect dress for $10 and tried to fix it. It ended up being a slightly imperfect $10 cleaning rag."
"I filled my purse w/sugar packets from work and brought them home to use in my own kitchen."
"I took all my cash out for the week on Sunday night and separated it into seven amounts so I would know exactly how much I could afford to spend each day."
"I lied about my Payless shoes and said they were Prada. My friends went looking for them and I lied again, insisting they were probably sold out."
"I wanted to win a drawing for a new DVD player so badly that I snuck the entire stack of blank tickets into my bag, filled them all out at home, and went back and put them in. And I won!"
"I was afraid to answer the door at night because my neighborhood was so sketchy! Turned out, it was two firemen banging on the door because the basement broiler exploded!"
"I refused to take a cab at three in the morning and my friend and I ended up in a dingy neighborhood, all because I was cheap and made us take a the train we never took before."
Monday, May 18, 2009
~Nordstrom Event~
I'm not sure if this is just California specific but it's worth checking out...
On Saturday, May 30th if you purchase any two fragrances you receive a free full-sized body lotion/creme! This is a perfect way to get a lovely father's day gift set and a little something for yourself as well! =D
On Saturday, May 30th if you purchase any two fragrances you receive a free full-sized body lotion/creme! This is a perfect way to get a lovely father's day gift set and a little something for yourself as well! =D
The New Graduate
Sorry folks but I spent the last few weeks concentrating on project due and finals in school. But now I'm free as a bird...as promised the first of 10 samples of book, "The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35."
Life in the Real World
Here's what it's like for the New Graduate: One moment she is sleeping soundly, dreaming of the exciting days ahead as a twenty-something with a paycheck. Then someone comes into her room, whips open the curtains, and wakes her up. She sees her surroundings for the first time under the bright lights of the real world and feels bewildered, exposed, and unpolished. She wonders, "Where the heck am I and how can I be so excited about the furniture one minute and so freaked out the next?" She feels like she went to sleep a college kid but woke up in an unfamiliar land.
Like all New Graduates, she feels enthusiastic but overwhelmed, excited but terrified, grown up yet more naive than she was in grade school. This exciting but challenging time is typical of life as a new member of the adult world. When you're in it, you can expect to feel a number of conflicting feelings that make you a little nutty sometimes.
College to Real-World Lingo Translator
You hardly recognize your best friend when she dons a power suit and struts into the office. The "We Miss You!" cards from mom and dad have been pushed aside by a lengthy new employee information packet. Now, to make matters worse, the adults around you are using the words you took for granted in new ways. The most familiar part of your life, your own language is in disarray.
Have you noticed that people speak differently in the real world than they do in college? About a month after you have your diploma in hand you start to realize that the lingo just isn't the same. If you're having problems making the transition because you can't figure out what the heck those real-world people are talking about, use this translator to learn the new meaning of your favorite terms.
KEG STAND
College Definition: The act of holding a frat boy upside down so he can drink nasty beer straight out the barrel.
Real-World Definition: A beautiful varnished wooden beer holder the rich yuppie forty-something has in his basement.
LIKE
College Definition: A word used frequently in college conversation that adds no meaning to a sentence but somehow enhances communication. Example: He is like so hot and like not gay either.
Real-World Definition: A word that pops out of the New Graduate's mouth in meetings, making her feel like a total idiot. Example: This report is like so wrong. A word she learns to use in the proper way in the real world. Example: I don't like getting up every day at 7 a.m. I don't like my boss's breath, which makes the ends of my hair fry when he leans over my shoulder and asks me what I'm working on.
REAL LIFE ROCKS BECAUSE
*You finally have a steady income and can stop collecting soda cans to make an extra buck.
*You can take classes for fun w/o stressing about that grade or whether or not "The History of Fashion" will look weird on your transcript.
*You can tell your mother to stop freaking out about everything you do, even though she probably never will.
*The people you know do not all live in the same building, so you actually have some degree of anonymity.
*You met lots of new and interesting people.
*You get to drink beer that doesn't taste like it was brewed in a toilet.
*When your workday is done, it's done, and there are no papers or schoolwork dangling over your head.
*Guys finally have to shave their nasty goatees for work.
*You can read trashy literature that is not part of a recommended reading list.
*When you go out at night your feet no longer stick to the floor like they did in college frat houses.
**Tomorrow: The Dollarless Diva**
Life in the Real World
Here's what it's like for the New Graduate: One moment she is sleeping soundly, dreaming of the exciting days ahead as a twenty-something with a paycheck. Then someone comes into her room, whips open the curtains, and wakes her up. She sees her surroundings for the first time under the bright lights of the real world and feels bewildered, exposed, and unpolished. She wonders, "Where the heck am I and how can I be so excited about the furniture one minute and so freaked out the next?" She feels like she went to sleep a college kid but woke up in an unfamiliar land.
Like all New Graduates, she feels enthusiastic but overwhelmed, excited but terrified, grown up yet more naive than she was in grade school. This exciting but challenging time is typical of life as a new member of the adult world. When you're in it, you can expect to feel a number of conflicting feelings that make you a little nutty sometimes.
College to Real-World Lingo Translator
You hardly recognize your best friend when she dons a power suit and struts into the office. The "We Miss You!" cards from mom and dad have been pushed aside by a lengthy new employee information packet. Now, to make matters worse, the adults around you are using the words you took for granted in new ways. The most familiar part of your life, your own language is in disarray.
Have you noticed that people speak differently in the real world than they do in college? About a month after you have your diploma in hand you start to realize that the lingo just isn't the same. If you're having problems making the transition because you can't figure out what the heck those real-world people are talking about, use this translator to learn the new meaning of your favorite terms.
KEG STAND
College Definition: The act of holding a frat boy upside down so he can drink nasty beer straight out the barrel.
Real-World Definition: A beautiful varnished wooden beer holder the rich yuppie forty-something has in his basement.
LIKE
College Definition: A word used frequently in college conversation that adds no meaning to a sentence but somehow enhances communication. Example: He is like so hot and like not gay either.
Real-World Definition: A word that pops out of the New Graduate's mouth in meetings, making her feel like a total idiot. Example: This report is like so wrong. A word she learns to use in the proper way in the real world. Example: I don't like getting up every day at 7 a.m. I don't like my boss's breath, which makes the ends of my hair fry when he leans over my shoulder and asks me what I'm working on.
REAL LIFE ROCKS BECAUSE
*You finally have a steady income and can stop collecting soda cans to make an extra buck.
*You can take classes for fun w/o stressing about that grade or whether or not "The History of Fashion" will look weird on your transcript.
*You can tell your mother to stop freaking out about everything you do, even though she probably never will.
*The people you know do not all live in the same building, so you actually have some degree of anonymity.
*You met lots of new and interesting people.
*You get to drink beer that doesn't taste like it was brewed in a toilet.
*When your workday is done, it's done, and there are no papers or schoolwork dangling over your head.
*Guys finally have to shave their nasty goatees for work.
*You can read trashy literature that is not part of a recommended reading list.
*When you go out at night your feet no longer stick to the floor like they did in college frat houses.
**Tomorrow: The Dollarless Diva**
Monday, May 4, 2009
The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35
and even if you are over 35, I'm sure you can relate and are maybe still going through these metaphoric changes.
I bought this book written by Alison James a few weeks ago and I was able to relate on some level to all the different degrees of women I will have evolved or grow into. At some point this week I will start listing and giving a brief summary of the 10 women you will be by age 35.
I must admit, I'm a 34-year-old woman and I still feel as if I'm fluctuating between these persona's right now!
Here's the quick list:
1) The New Graduate
(So Naive You Can't Believe!)
2) The Dollarless Diva
(Cereal, Tuna and a Lotta Debt)
3) The Worker Bee
(I Can Do It All Baby)
4) The Party Girl
(Like, Call Me on My Cell)
5) The Body-Conscious Babe
(Vitamins and Mineral Water)
6) The Chameleon
(I'll Have What He's Having)
7) The Crisis Chick
(Junk Food and Sleep)
8) Ms. Independence
(Empress of the Universe)
9) The Whirl - Half Woman/Half Girl
(Call Me Ma'am and You'll Die)
10) The True You
(I Made It!)
I bought this book written by Alison James a few weeks ago and I was able to relate on some level to all the different degrees of women I will have evolved or grow into. At some point this week I will start listing and giving a brief summary of the 10 women you will be by age 35.
I must admit, I'm a 34-year-old woman and I still feel as if I'm fluctuating between these persona's right now!
Here's the quick list:
1) The New Graduate
(So Naive You Can't Believe!)
2) The Dollarless Diva
(Cereal, Tuna and a Lotta Debt)
3) The Worker Bee
(I Can Do It All Baby)
4) The Party Girl
(Like, Call Me on My Cell)
5) The Body-Conscious Babe
(Vitamins and Mineral Water)
6) The Chameleon
(I'll Have What He's Having)
7) The Crisis Chick
(Junk Food and Sleep)
8) Ms. Independence
(Empress of the Universe)
9) The Whirl - Half Woman/Half Girl
(Call Me Ma'am and You'll Die)
10) The True You
(I Made It!)
Every woman should have (regardless of age & race)
-a signature Chanel fragrance. Timeless/classic & long lasting! It's not like one of those designer perfumes like Juicy Couture or what not that will go bad sitting in its bottle for two years!
-a GREAT tailor. To help those not so great fitting outfits contour your better better. Also, a well fitted, nicely tailored outfit (regardless of the cost of the garment) always looks more than what it costs.
-one very well fitted and tailored interview/power suit. When you walk into the room, look as if you own the company!
-a string of real pearls. Don't think of pearls as something your grandma wears. They are very elegant and in today's market come in all sorts of beautiful arrangements and mixtures (gold n pearl necklaces). Can't afford a real one? Get a nice costume jewelry piece (and I'm not talking about a Forever 21/H&M etc. store either - Kenneth Jay Lane costume jewelry pieces or the like).
-a friend(s) who let you be who you are & always has your back. You want to be comfortable in your own skin and not feel obligated to be a certain way or worry if you will offend someone w/something you say.
-a digital camera. You want something to capture all the special moments in your life. Don't rely on other people and their camera nor on your memory (one word - Alzheimer).
-if there is ONE thing you must do in your lifetime is to take a (or a few) destination vacations to somewhere you desire. If you have to donate blood, recycle, etc. to save up your pennies...do it! We work hard and go through so much in life. There are so many beautiful countries and experiences to be had out there...open up yourself to take that trip the Bahamas/Caribbean/Europe/South America/Africa trip you've always wanted to take.
-never wait for anyone (even your girlfriends). Don't wait for someone to finally & actually do things in your life. No one to take that Caribbean trip w/you? Go alone! Do a one of those group tours. Don't be afraid of being alone or you'll miss out on all of life's great thrills and experiences waiting for someone to be able to do something that you want to do.
-get that education! Having an education is very important if you want to succeed in today's world. A bachelors is the new equivalent of a high school diploma.
- have a "Plan B." Just in case Plan A decides to act the fool. =p
These are just a few random thoughts that came to me and I'm sure this list can develop into a larger list. But for now, I will keep it short. Feel free to post comments adding to this list as well. Always looking forward to hearing from our readers!
M
-a GREAT tailor. To help those not so great fitting outfits contour your better better. Also, a well fitted, nicely tailored outfit (regardless of the cost of the garment) always looks more than what it costs.
-one very well fitted and tailored interview/power suit. When you walk into the room, look as if you own the company!
-a string of real pearls. Don't think of pearls as something your grandma wears. They are very elegant and in today's market come in all sorts of beautiful arrangements and mixtures (gold n pearl necklaces). Can't afford a real one? Get a nice costume jewelry piece (and I'm not talking about a Forever 21/H&M etc. store either - Kenneth Jay Lane costume jewelry pieces or the like).
-a friend(s) who let you be who you are & always has your back. You want to be comfortable in your own skin and not feel obligated to be a certain way or worry if you will offend someone w/something you say.
-a digital camera. You want something to capture all the special moments in your life. Don't rely on other people and their camera nor on your memory (one word - Alzheimer).
-if there is ONE thing you must do in your lifetime is to take a (or a few) destination vacations to somewhere you desire. If you have to donate blood, recycle, etc. to save up your pennies...do it! We work hard and go through so much in life. There are so many beautiful countries and experiences to be had out there...open up yourself to take that trip the Bahamas/Caribbean/Europe/South America/Africa trip you've always wanted to take.
-never wait for anyone (even your girlfriends). Don't wait for someone to finally & actually do things in your life. No one to take that Caribbean trip w/you? Go alone! Do a one of those group tours. Don't be afraid of being alone or you'll miss out on all of life's great thrills and experiences waiting for someone to be able to do something that you want to do.
-get that education! Having an education is very important if you want to succeed in today's world. A bachelors is the new equivalent of a high school diploma.
- have a "Plan B." Just in case Plan A decides to act the fool. =p
These are just a few random thoughts that came to me and I'm sure this list can develop into a larger list. But for now, I will keep it short. Feel free to post comments adding to this list as well. Always looking forward to hearing from our readers!
M
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Dinner Story...One For the Ladies
Most of you will get a kick outta this and draw your own conclusions/theory...here goes:
There's this guy that worked at my job, I really was not remotely interested in him PERIOD (even though my friends all kept trying to persuade me to "give him a chance"). I made a point to make it clear we are "just friends." Well around my birthday time he got a great offer to work at another company and he was consistently ask me to go out to celebrate. His exact words, "I will be making tons of money and money is no object. Lets go out n celebrate." Considering the birthday I had, I was not interested in drinking to celebrate. I basically said more-or-less I'd take a rain check. Well I found out he got w/my girlfriend who was at my birthday party and they had went out on a first date.
I told him hey, don't forget u owe me dinner n some gossip. He first suggested taking me to this inexpensive cafe called Cafe Bizou. I went there one time and ordered the Lobster Risotto and wasn't impressed w/it and then when I looked around the room, it was mainly composed of old folks. I mean senior citizens. I saw this one patron wheeling an oxygen tank up in there!!! I was like oh hell no...this is not the spot for me. Anyways...I'm big on seafood so he finally decided on Cheesecake Factory.
Now I had plans to meet up w/some g/f's after work and for the first time in weeks I got into work on time. I had an upper respiratory infection and was not feeling well for a good week, week n a half. I looked cute but was casual cute, my outfit were some white capri white denim jeans (7 by all mankind), a striped paul frank flowy tube top, a true religion dark blue denim shirt over it & my Havanas flip flops. Also I had classes the night before and I'm like this is just a homie...there is no need to get dressed up. If he sees me looking all super casual (yet cute) oh well. He's seen me dressed at work before and going out.
So I ordered a drink and we started talking. He was surprised I knew about his date w/my girlfriend and I had to stand corrected they had two dates already. Now I'm going to fast forward all the brouhaha and get the juicy part, where the bill comes! The waiter brings the bill and gives it to him and then he asked me, "how are we going to do this?" I said, "What do you mean? Aren't you paying for it?" His reply, "Well you know if I am going to pay I might expect something (while laughing appearing to be joking around)." I looked at him and was about to get up and walk out. But instead I just paid for my dinner (as the way I look at it, is I don't need you anyways...I can pay for my meal) and got my parking validated and was ready to leave. I was pissed off. If I had to pay for a meal it would not have been there and definitely I would have better company! Some of my other g/f's were at a restaurant n I could have met up w/them instead and had a blast. It gets better.
He asks me where I parked at and said he was going to walk me to my car. I'm thinking WTF for? I know you guys & gals are probably shaking your heads and laughing at this point. He walks me to my car and inspected a dent I had in my bumper giving his expert advice. Oo After all like he said (even though my car is a brand new car) he has a BMW and it has a lot of dings and he doesn't worry about it. I put my purse n stuff down in the passenger seat of my car and then walk over to the back to see what he was talking about and then I started walking over to the drivers side. He just kept standing there, lingering. I looked at him n said thanks, bye. And hopped into my ride.
LOSER! And apparently his whole wack game n intentions became clear obviously at the end. But I'm telling you, I have never had something like this happen to me except once in my twenties. I am damn near 35. I can guarantee if this type of situation occurs again...I'm just going to get up and leave, not an excuse me I'm going to the bathroom...nothing. Just leave.
Naturally all contact information has been deleted since that day. =D
There's this guy that worked at my job, I really was not remotely interested in him PERIOD (even though my friends all kept trying to persuade me to "give him a chance"). I made a point to make it clear we are "just friends." Well around my birthday time he got a great offer to work at another company and he was consistently ask me to go out to celebrate. His exact words, "I will be making tons of money and money is no object. Lets go out n celebrate." Considering the birthday I had, I was not interested in drinking to celebrate. I basically said more-or-less I'd take a rain check. Well I found out he got w/my girlfriend who was at my birthday party and they had went out on a first date.
I told him hey, don't forget u owe me dinner n some gossip. He first suggested taking me to this inexpensive cafe called Cafe Bizou. I went there one time and ordered the Lobster Risotto and wasn't impressed w/it and then when I looked around the room, it was mainly composed of old folks. I mean senior citizens. I saw this one patron wheeling an oxygen tank up in there!!! I was like oh hell no...this is not the spot for me. Anyways...I'm big on seafood so he finally decided on Cheesecake Factory.
Now I had plans to meet up w/some g/f's after work and for the first time in weeks I got into work on time. I had an upper respiratory infection and was not feeling well for a good week, week n a half. I looked cute but was casual cute, my outfit were some white capri white denim jeans (7 by all mankind), a striped paul frank flowy tube top, a true religion dark blue denim shirt over it & my Havanas flip flops. Also I had classes the night before and I'm like this is just a homie...there is no need to get dressed up. If he sees me looking all super casual (yet cute) oh well. He's seen me dressed at work before and going out.
So I ordered a drink and we started talking. He was surprised I knew about his date w/my girlfriend and I had to stand corrected they had two dates already. Now I'm going to fast forward all the brouhaha and get the juicy part, where the bill comes! The waiter brings the bill and gives it to him and then he asked me, "how are we going to do this?" I said, "What do you mean? Aren't you paying for it?" His reply, "Well you know if I am going to pay I might expect something (while laughing appearing to be joking around)." I looked at him and was about to get up and walk out. But instead I just paid for my dinner (as the way I look at it, is I don't need you anyways...I can pay for my meal) and got my parking validated and was ready to leave. I was pissed off. If I had to pay for a meal it would not have been there and definitely I would have better company! Some of my other g/f's were at a restaurant n I could have met up w/them instead and had a blast. It gets better.
He asks me where I parked at and said he was going to walk me to my car. I'm thinking WTF for? I know you guys & gals are probably shaking your heads and laughing at this point. He walks me to my car and inspected a dent I had in my bumper giving his expert advice. Oo After all like he said (even though my car is a brand new car) he has a BMW and it has a lot of dings and he doesn't worry about it. I put my purse n stuff down in the passenger seat of my car and then walk over to the back to see what he was talking about and then I started walking over to the drivers side. He just kept standing there, lingering. I looked at him n said thanks, bye. And hopped into my ride.
LOSER! And apparently his whole wack game n intentions became clear obviously at the end. But I'm telling you, I have never had something like this happen to me except once in my twenties. I am damn near 35. I can guarantee if this type of situation occurs again...I'm just going to get up and leave, not an excuse me I'm going to the bathroom...nothing. Just leave.
Naturally all contact information has been deleted since that day. =D
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